1GLITTER EVERYWHERE CARD

Glitter is the worst creation of mankind. It gets f*@king everywhere and is extremely frustrating. What better way to ruin someone’s day than send them a card full of glitter!  The glitter is hidden inside a small pouch so they won’t notice it until it’s too late for maximum day ruinage. 

Choose your glitter size. Extra fine glitter will really f*@k their day up

2SPRING LOADED GLITTER BOMB

We are the inventors of the original Spring Loaded Glitter Bomb so we had a lot of time to perfect this design! Our sturdy 7 inch shipping tubes are packed with over 40 grams of glitter and a 9 inch spring, ensuring total glitterstruction! The glitter is stored in a separate compartment making it impossible to hear the glitter inside of the tube. Double or triple the glitter if you’re crazy.

3BAG OF DICKS

How do you win an argument? Tell them to eat a bag of dicks. Simple as that. However, it is not enough to just say the phrase. There’s something immensely special about physically providing the said bag of dicks along with your assertion. And our dicks are delicious so you can rest assured your recipient will truly eat a bag of dicks.

4SMELLY POOP IN A BOX

Yep. Exactly what it sounds like. Wet, chunky, poop in a box. Sprayed with condensed hobo farts. 

5EAT A DICK CARD

Sometimes a Bag of Dicks is a few too many dicks.  What if you wanted to tell your victim to just eat a lone singular dick? Up until now, there was literally no solution to this penile dilemma. Enter our “Eat a Dick” cards. You’re welcome.

Bonus: For limited time we’re stocking our “You have a little dick” variant. Get ‘em while they’re short!